Lesson 101 in effective communication: it’s incumbent upon YOU to really understand the other person—what they think, what they want, what’s important to them—and NOT the other way around.

If you want to communicate with someone effectively…and establish a relationship, whether personal or business…you have to, as the cliché points out, “put yourself in the customer’s shoes”…whether you’re selling a product, service, or idea.

As a marketer, it’s imperative that you understand the CUSTOMER…what he thinks, wants, needs, fears, and desires…what’s important to him—NOT what’s important to you.

Assuming your canvassed lead has a stated interest in your offer, you call the lead and asked, “Hi [name], my name is Nelson from [your company]. The reason I’m calling you is you have stated your interest in wanting to know more about…(or ‘you have filled in your contact details at [your website]‘). It will take less than a minute. Do you have time now?”

This approach, by the way, works beautifully in selling either when cold calling or following up on inquiries.

People are busy today, and they cannot abide it when others don’t respect their time or understand just how pressured they are.

I ALWAYS ask when calling someone I don’t know: “Is this a bad time for you?” If they say ‘yes’, I ask when would be a better time to talk.

This is also a good strategy in selling: before launching into your “pitch”, ask the prospect for permission to proceed.

If you want to communicate or establish a relationship with other people, it’s YOUR job to understand them and where they’re coming from…and asking questions is one way to do this.

Bob Bly is the author of “World’s Best Copywriting Secrets” and has written copy for more than 100 companies including IBM, Boardroom, Medical Economics and AT&T. He is the author of more than 75 books and a columnist for Target Marketing, Early To Rise and The Writer. McGraw-Hill calls him “America’s top copywriter”.

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