You
Are Here: Home
> Resource
Articles > Self-Development
> Article
|
Untitled Document
Top
Picks for
Saturday, 11 Oct 2008
|
How
To Ask For What You Want
by
Mariette Edwards
Have
you ever been at a loss for words when someone asked you what
you do? Stumbled through a response trying to describe the kind
of job you are looking for? Questioned why you aren’t connecting
with the opportunities you seek?
Maybe
it’s time to get clear about what you really want.
Clarity
is Magnetic!
I
have a client who owns a graphic design business. When people
asked him what he does, he used to tell them just that—graphic
design.
What
he didn’t tell them was that his business was focused on
the entertainment industry, specifically film and television.
His company was responsible for designing promotional material
that supported major motion pictures like “Star Wars”
and cable television affiliate sales programs for networks like
Discovery, Animal Planet and A&E.
When
he incorporated these important elements into his pitch, people
could instantly connect with what he did.
I
spoke with a woman recently who was having difficulty attracting
the kind of business she wanted. When I asked her what kind of
business that was, her answer confused me.
She
finally admitted that she wasn’t really sure what she wanted.
She felt she lacked clarity.
The
chances are she knows exactly what she wants ,but she doesn’t
realize it. That’s because clarity can easily be confused
with articulation. You may feel you lack clarity because you can’t
name what you want to do or can’t clearly describe it. Perhaps
you can’t see how what you do is distinguished from what
hundreds of others do.
Here’s
a stunning fact about clarity. Even if you cannot say with certainty
what you want, you always know how you want to be!
I
discovered this for myself several years ago when I was struggling
to find the work that would be right for me after leaving the
corporate world. A friend asked me one day the question that stumps
us all at one time or another, “So Mariette, what do you
want to do?”
I
remember saying, “Don’t ask me what I want to do.
I can’t tell you. But I do know exactly how I want to be.”
I
went on to describe the kind of creative life I live today. My
“perfect” work evolved from that.
Is
it clarity or commitment?
A
reluctance to commit often disguises itself as a lack of clarity.
Many
people I speak with know exactly what they want but are unwilling
to commit to it. A lack of commitment is really about fear. You
may be afraid that committing to what you want will limit your
opportunities.
But
just the opposite is true. If you will not commit to asking for
what you really want, if you are vague and equivocating, you will
only confuse others about what kind of opportunity to bring you.
Take
Rachel for example.
Rachel
left her six-figure job as a senior executive with a Fortune 100
company to take care of a pressing family matter. During the time
she was away, Rachel decided she wanted to follow a different
path when she returned to work.
We
spoke at length about her vision for her new career. She was very
clear about what she wanted. With her education and connections,
she had a good chance of getting it.
But
as far as I know, she never did.
Rachel
knew what she wanted but she wouldn’t ask for it. She waffled
back and forth about her old career path and the new one. She
was afraid to cut off her opportunities so she just confused herself
and the people who were trying to help her.
What
do YOU really want?
Putting
fear aside, tell me what you want in one short, crisp, vivid sentence
that will help me instantly connect with what you are looking
for.
Knowledge
is power! The clearer you are in communicating what you want,
the faster it will come to you.
Copyright
© 2004 Mariette Edwards. All rights reserved.
Mariette
Edwards is a business and career strategist, consultant, speaker
and writer. Mariette publishes Star Maker, a free monthly on-line
newsletter dedicated to professional success. Visit Mariette's
website at http://www.starmakercoaching.com
for more information or drop her an e-mail.
| Hot
Recommendations |
 |
|
| Internet
Mastery Center Blog |
|
|
